I'm so content these days.
I'm in college, and I'm applying myself!
I've been writing new music a lot, been jamming with a lot of people lately.
Recording a lot.
For once I'm proud of my music.
And I'm actually proud to be Preston.
COMPLACENCY I'VE FOUND YOU
I'm going to be rerecording an old song soon, for nostalgic purposes soon.


It was dark before the dawn, but baby now it's fucking noon.

Loathe Me Cunt

Current Location: NWFSC
Current Mood: complacent

Is coming back into focus. I've realized I'ved demonized to many people. Most of which didn't deserve it, esp. my dad. It should have been the other. I started talking to him again. I'm gunna see him soon. My mother is the most selfish, self-centered, self-rightious, delusional individual I've ever know.

Current Mood: annoyed

are gross.

the 5th story

"I'm going to get dinner" he said ,leaving our project,
I haddn't seen him in days, he just hadn't come out,
yeah his room was a tomb filled with gloom,
it consumed,even me

He came back hours later with a bag of cold wendy's food,

I ate it all

Soon after he came in stumbling with every motion,
like a wave in the ocean,
a corpse not a person

he threw tables, he threw chairs
only wearing underwear
then he grabed my guitar,
the one thing I still loved.

I snaped like a twig under a giants foot,
like a gunshot,
I ripped it from his hands
knowing what would happen already

i threw it to the side as he jumped like a goat
straight for me

I choked him like a chiken
till his body went limp
and I reached for the phone
I called the only phone number I still remembered

"hello?"

"mom please come get me, I have to leave."

"ok"

DEAR TRON




Hipsters can't touch us because we ball outragious,
Ya betta keep ignoring them cause their disiese is contagious,
I'm flying new places, far from all the latest,
news I'd be hearing, you used to be my cnn

Now

now I can't hear a single thing your saying,
You think I'm playing,

You'd think you'd pay attention,

just take a little listen,
You'd notice I'm paying,
My life,

It's a small price for what she had to offer,
At least she's not awful,
Why are you so awful?

tron or no tron you've got explaining to do,
when I'm done with you, you'll be like a dried out prune,
Squezed of all juices,

and by juices I mean answers,
not metaphores about being cancer
she's not

your wrong

your wrong, always have been,
wipe off that shit full of grin,
your not fooling anybody

except all the people you say you care about

that was once, I admit but you I've finnaly quit,
like an adult with no zits, like going to rehab,

your a virus infecting friends of mine like it was going out of style,
Your a child without a purpose, born with a silver spoon, your a mother fucking loon

I'm over it, I want you out,
I found a vaccine for all my doubt,

It's her

not you

Current Location: home

I really wanted to go to the bury your dead show tonight.
bummer
I get the feeling something good is just around the bend.


I see I hope I want I breath

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: My Friends Over You-New Found Glory

of being the ex-boyfriend who needs his ex.

Im better then that.

from now on Im supporting myself.
from now on Im not going to date.
from now on Im in control.
from now on Im going to be me.

FUCK EVERYONE
I HATE YOU ALL ANYWAYS

this statement excludes shelby and zach

Current Mood: complacent

Ok
I'm giving now
we both need to figure things out
your right.....as usual

you say "son you're looking kind of weak"
yeah well I starved myself, deprived myself of sleep
you say "no no that is not it,
its something deeper, it's something within"
I say "stranger...
leave me the hell alone,
you must have problems,
problems of your own"
he smiles, reaches out his hand
"help me help to help you learn to understand"
he asked me if im ready to die
and I shrugged, I looked to the sky
"whats my purpose" he said
am I better off
Whats your purpose
I repeated that question in my head
yeah aw no no no
he asked what do I really live for,
and if I have inner peace
he asked what is our purpose

Current Mood: thoughtful

that makes me such a bad guy

I don't get it.

The little things?

It's the big things that fucking matter honey.


please call me

I want to talk to you

I need you to talk to me

make me feel better, you always do.

Current Mood: drunk

"...and then I'm Fine"


What the fuck

I don't wanna believe this

I can't breath

The codeine I took this morning isn't even helping

Does she hate me?

I didn't mean/want to hurt her

my God I love her

my stomach is in knots

I did this?

I can't stand not talking to her

"...doing something stupid..."

so I'm something stupid now

great

have I always been something stupid to you?

I need to start trying to concentrate on not picking at my gums with this thumbtack, I've been at it for days. does anyone have any advice for getting rid of nervous habits. I'm gunna talk to my therapist and psych tomorrow so maybe I'll get something for my nerves. I hope so at least.
I can't stop. Thier is blood all over my pants, good thing Im wearing dark pants. I wanna talk to my best friends, but Shelby's in mexico and zach is in iraq, Shannon probably doesn't wanna talk or is at work or is busy or something.

Im shaking

goodbye

Current Mood: nauseated